I'M GOING TO MOROCCO IN THE FALL!!!!

I am FINALLY done with this semester. (Actually I've been done since Saturday night, when I turned in my last paper...) This semester has been absolutely horrendous -  I seriously did not have time to do anything but schoolwork. I probably studied at least five hours a day, on average. The week before finals was another four-days-without-sleep marathon. But now I am DONE, I have time to do whatever I like, despite the fact that I have no idea what is in store for me, in any realm of my life. Which is why I'm taking solace in books...bought five today (nearly $50 - oops), and I'm starting with "Death by Black Hole", a series of essays about astrophysics. Cosmology is AWESOME.

Things may be looking up.

Despite the fact that I don't plan on sleeping until Thursday night.

I don't have any friends.

This sucks.

#7761: DON'T GRAB HER BOOBS IN FRONT OF THE OTHER GIRL WHEN SHE HAS HER TOP OFF

On the upside, being alone a lot is helping. Thank god I'm going on another walk soon. Maybe I'll meet some more probably-drunk pseudo-interesting people. 

PROTIP: Don't go on a vacation to an inherently romantic place with a cutesy couple when you're still not completely over feeling lonely and unloved.

Additionally: TIPS FOR BEING A COUPLE ON VACATION WITH A SINGLE GIRL

1. CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR WHEN YOU SHOWER TOGETHER
2. Generally try to avoid alienating her
Rule 34. Don't make out across the table from her at dinner

There'll be more to come, I'm sure.

At first it really bugged me and bummed me out. I couldn't help but just feel angry and depressed. I'm getting used to it, but still a week of vacation has never seemed so long. But I think I'm going to try to spend as much time as possible alone; for one, it'll make me feel like I'm on a separate vacation and just happen to be with them, instead of feeling like a third wheel. Secondly, being alone can be relaxing. And, it can have interesting consequences; tonight I went out for a walk on the beach (there are a fuckton of people out on the beach at 3 am!) and wound up talking to this random guy 'cause he came over and asked me why I was sitting by myself. So I figure, I'll try to spend as much time as possible by myself, and enjoy myself in a quiet kind of way instead of being stressed out at my companions' cuddling and cutesyness, and maybe meet some people along the way.

...did Kanye West go through a big breakup recently or something? 808s and Heartbreaks is extremely sympathetic music when I'm feelin' the hate.

No, Beyonce is NOT Etta James!

One of my uncle's restaurants just got referenced on Gossip Girl! S02E11 "The Magnificent Archibalds"...unfortunately it was in a line where this girl is snubbing it. But she's also the most stuck-up, hoity-toity of all the characters, so I guess they're still saying it's pretty classy (just not enough for her).

...OBAMA WON!! Let's hope things actually start changing from here on out.

Side note: I can hear the Pitt kids rioting from my room.

It is 5:15 am and I am still up, waiting for my freaking episode of Gossip Girl to buffer. I have class at 10:30. But I need to know what happens! I'm deathly tired but I can't go to sleep until the whole story is revealed! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Also, I nearly cut off the tip of my thumb cutting lemon for my tea this morning. Bomb. And I say "nearly cut off" because I stopped slicing once I felt pain and looked down and saw the knife in my thumb...so now there is just this big flap of skin covering this huge gash in the tip of my thumb, and I don't know what to do about it. But I guess it's better than the whole tip of my thumb being cut off.

Also also, I'm sorry for writing so much here and not really commenting on other peoples' journals. It's just that, since I don't really have anyone to talk to about everything anymore, LJ is kind of becoming my verbal outlet...

I basically did not sleep this week. I've mostly been subsisting off of coffee and cloves. I will be so damned relieved when I can actually go to sleep, laying down, in a bed in a couple of hours, instead of just napping with my head down on the table in the computer clusters....

...or not. Ok, that's not entirely true. I've moved from being horribly, crushingly depressed to being horribly, crushingly angry. I'm angry about so many things, and to top it all off I'm angry about being angry because it takes up so much energy and I can't get anything done. On the up side, I can eat again, so I know I'm not going to die of starvation. On the downside, I still feel like shit, I still can't focus on anything, and now there's the added bonus of hating him and loving him all at once, which is honestly one of the worst things I've ever felt. Even angry hip-hop isn't really helping...

Also, I'm sorry if I haven't been reading/commenting on your journal. I kind of fell out of being interested over the summer, and now school and the not-focusing-becauase-of-extreme-emotions things aren't really helping.

Tyler broke up with me. A year and a fucking half together, and just when I think things are picking up again he suddenly up and decides he doesn't love me anymore and I'm not worth the effort. I can already tell this is going to be a fantastic year.

I really should stop going to bed after dawn. Then again, I have no idea where this sudden urge to be diurnal is coming from...

I've had a couple of "I'm getting old" moments lately. Besides all the gray hairs I've been finding throughout the year, I looked at a People magazine the other night and had no idea who any of the people on the front were. I was also bored the other night and stalking the incoming CMU freshman, saw something about Strongbad from homestarrunner, and simultaneously thought "I haven't seen that in years!" and "I haven't seen that since high school!" Realizing that the two were interchangeable was a little weird. O.o

Speaking of the c/o 2012, they are effing hilarious. "We're going to part it up and make CMU more social!" "I'm sure studying 2 or 3 hours a night will be fine." AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sure, you can socialize and study 3 hours a night...you'll also wind up with deplorable grades. Sorry kiddos, but there's a reason CMU is known for being a study-hard school with little social scene. Ok, so yeah the freshman are funny now, but I'll probably be pissed when I actually see them during the year because they are so damn normal. Every year the freshman seem more and more effing normal...what happened to the girl who wore a cloak around campus?!

I should probably go to bed...my eyes are starting to cross and my spelling and sentence-forming abilities are quickly deteriorating. I...don't think that's a good thing?

So I've been reading a lot. This is a good thing, since I really miss reading during the school year. This is also a bad thing, since a lot of the aforementioned reading takes place late at night, when I'm the only one awake and the house is completely silent, and I'm reading Stephen King. Now, I *could* not read Stephen King...except I can't really, the day before my birthday my mom took me to a half-price bookstore and we wound up leaving with almost $50 worth of almost entirely Stephen King (I was almost finished with IT and was on a kick). I am semi-reading The Other Boleyn Girl, but I'm trying to make it last through my entire new Stephen King collection, so that I always have a nice, normal book for backup in case I feel my mind coming apart.

I called off work today, for no particular reason except I really hate the job and couldn't stand the thought of going in today. The false cheeriness I think is what really gets me; I'm getting used to people being pissy and hanging up and saying "Not interested", and I might be able to deal with the SUCK of only having gotten one pledge of 10-freaking-dollars, if I didn't have to sound so damn happy every call. Ugh. If it didn't pay so well and the hours weren't so easy/flexible.... There's also that prospect, however slight, of possibly becoming a supervisor if I stay there long enough and pull in enough money (HA!), and getting paid $12/hour to sit around and do *nothing*. It also apparently looks good on a resume, but I think that's more of a boon to Tyler as a business major than me, I doubt research labs are really going to give much of a shit if I'm good on the phone. After next week ('cause I'm already signed up) I'm never working another Saturday shift...getting up to go do that shit is one of the least enjoyable things I can think of (ok, off the top of my head). 

So school is out FINALLY. We got out last week, my last final was a week and a day ago, for which my friend and I studied a total of about 13 hours. THAT was fun. But I did manage to get in the 99th percentile for the exam (the exams are curved because no one can legitimately pass any of them) so I guess it was worth something? A week before that I had to go through the week from hell, in which I was supposed  to have 4 exams (one in every class, actually, and three were finals) in one day, but I managed to get it changed to...four exams in 24 hours! YESSSSSS! But now I'm all done, moved out (meaning, I never have to deal with the people who lived on my floor ignoring me ever again) and hopefully now have a nice off-campus apartment, since I just took in the rental application and they said the place hadn't been taken yet. Except now Stacy and I have to put up ads for a roommate, since the girl who was supposed to live with us 1) panicked and took a room in a house with random people, 2) changed her mind and said she'd definitely live with us after the summer, then 2 1/2) told us she would live with us only if we found a nice place, which fucks up our search because if she wasn't going to live with us we would have to look for a 1- instead of 2-bedroom, and then finally 3) said that her mother won't let her live off-campus next year because it affects her financial aid, which I don't understand how the hell that's going to work because she's not part of room draw anymore, I don't think she *can* get a room on campus next year, so what choice does she have? *boggles* So it seems, I'll be stuck sharing a room with Stacy (I kind of wanted a room to myself... >.>) as well as living with a stranger...should be a blast.

Tonight for my birthday I'm going out to dinner with my family and Tyler and we're going to overdose on protein. I decided on this Brazilian place where there's this little block at your table, one side painted red, the other green, and when you have the green side up they keep bringing you different kinds of meat (once they had bits of filet mignon wrapped in bacon mmmmmm) and when you need to stop you put the red side up. No Japanese food this year, since I've been doing that since I don't even remember when, I figured, 20 is a good time to try something new, and anyways Tyler and I just went to a Japanese place last week (not quite as extravagant as Benihana, but whatever).

I might even be posting now, since I don't really have much to do. I got a job as a devil's spawn telemarketer "telefund ambassador" begging alumni for money but it's not very rigorous so I might actually feel like expending the brainpower to make entries over the summer.

Boy Suspended for Sniffing Marker

What?! I'm sorry, but what about kids who, oh, eat glue?!

Carnival was this weekend. I might talk about it later, but right now I'm trying to pound out an 8-10 page research paper and an accompanying PowerPoint presentation.

Yes, this post really seriously is about shoes. I honestly don't have anything else to write about, but I feel like I should post at least like once a month. I bought five pairs for ~$80 today, because the DSW sale racks are god's gift to shoe addicts shoppers. And one of the pairs was less than $10, and they're red plaid, for extra awesome. Anyways, the notable thing about this shopping trip is that all the shoes I bought are functional. I have a habit of buying shoes that are extra-cute and eh, kind of comfortable, and then realizing that they are *not* for walking around to class all day. But recently, as it's been getting warmer, I realized that I don't have any (comfortable) warm-weather shoes (read: not boots) that I can walk around in all day. So I had to go out and buy some. But, in yet another major plot twist...I bought flat shoes. Anyone who knows me IRL knows that me and flat shoes are two concepts that really don't mix...I don't remember the last time I regularly wore shoes without heels, I think it was seventh grade or earlier. But, a couple of weeks ago I was at this Carnival event at Pitt and there were a lot of short Black girls there, and I kept thinking, "They are so cute!" Then I realized that I'm one of those girls, but nobody ever knows 'cause I'm always in heels. So I've finally decided to embrace my shortness, and I vowed to buy a pair of flat shoes, and wound up getting two (one of them's the aforementioned red plaid).

I also bought a couple of shirts at Macy's that were $10 each. Horizontal stripes really do make you look mad wide.

The first one BLOWS MY MIND WITH AWESOME.